Life happens. Things don’t go as intended. And when it does, here’s my quick simple way to turn almost any experience into a learning experience.

STEP 1 – What Happened 

Replay the event but take a 3rd person perspective, as if you’re watching it from the outside. Describe the situation objectively. It helps me to imagine myself writing an acting scene and describing what is happening so that the actors are able to reenact what happened. This step is crucial because it links the actor (who), the action (what they did), and the effect (what happened next). Keeping it factual helps avoid emotional bias. The point of this exercise is to learn and grow, not to assign blame.

Bonus: Think about how you felt at each stage of the event. This will deepen your learning by connecting what happened to how you felt.

STEP 2 – What Went Well 

Identify what you did right. What actions or decisions worked out? Recognizing your successes, no matter how small, is important because we want to repeat these behaviors in the future.

Bonus: Sometimes, life throws us a bone, and we need to recognize it. Take a moment to acknowledge any external factors that helped.

STEP 3 – What Went Wrong 

List everything that went wrong, didn’t go according to plan, could have gone better etc. For each item, if you are the person who did it, move on to the next item. If you’re not the actor, you can’t control what happened, so there’s really no point in thinking about it since you can’t change that action. You only want to focus on what you can change.

Bonus: Same as Step 2, take note of the external factors that went wrong. This is useful in context but be sure to maintain your focus on your own actions and responses.

STEP 4 – What Next 

Now that we have a list of things that you did that didn’t go well, think about what you would do next time if the same thing happens again. Once again, only focus on your own actions, because that is the only thing that is fully within your control. Ask yourself, what will you do differently next time? And is there anything you can do now to prepare for it?

TADA!!! Easy right? (no, not “easy” but it is at least simple)

Be sure to iterate on this. Revisit your reflections, especially after trying out your new ideas.mined the problem in much greater detail, and hopefully this will lead us to a better resolution!